the halloween hearse

g'day hearsefans, finally got a spare moment so i'll jump on here for a minute, well halloween came and went with barely a whimper, bluey put her hand up for a cruise so out we went, first point of call was our local town of laidley which was as dead as a nit so after a run around there and unnerving what locals were out and about we headed for big bad ipswich. it wasn't too much better in there either but bluey made a big impression as usual getting a few admiring looks and many terrified looks which i guess is the essence of halloween. australia doesn't seem to be embracing halloween in a big way which i guess in some way is a good thing as it's just another marketing ploy to milk more money out of us and trying to americanise us even more, even our resident spirits weren't interested and didn't appear for photo time which is very unusual for them not an orb in sight, so funnily enough the one night of the year which is supposed to have the most spirit activity had the least. then again they may have had a convention on somewhere where we weren't invited due to being alive and all that. any way back to hearses, there has been some stunners on ebay, there is a couple of cadillacs on there which i'd love to add to the collection but i couldn't find any takers for christine so i just have to window shop for now, but i'm not too worried as i'm very happy with the ones i have now, bluey and lenny are a pretty tough act to follow so i can't ever see anything topping them but getting a new toy is always fun. till next time.

the fc gets a visit from the doctor

g'day hearsefans, havn't been able to get on here lately as hearseboy has recently got his own computer and has been hogging my modem, so i've commandeered it for a few minutes to check up on the latest hearse happenings. due to all the rain lately i havn't been able to get any of them out which is a shame as we've missed a lot of car shows, but it's given me the opportunity to give my old '58 fc holden a freshen up. the engine in it has been tired for years so time for a bit of a liven up along the lines of a big yella terra head, cam, 4 barrel holley, bored out extractors, roller rockers etc, consequently it now goes like stink so with that little job out the way and if the weather lays off a bit i can get back to the hearses, been trying not to look at ones for sale but am thinking about replacing christine with another one but parting with the ol plymouth will be hard but sacrifices have to be made. as you can see even the patio area has become a new carport for the fc after it got booted out of it's garage in favour of lenny a while back, although lenny is one of my favourites so it wasn't a hard decision to make, just makes working on things by the back door rather awkward. till next time. [ when i get my modem back again ]

christine

g'day hearsefans, now if your into hearses theres a fair chance your a fan of horror movies and books as well, i've been a stephen king fan since the early eighties and one of my favourite films is christine, who could resist a killer car ... HELL YEAH, anyway unfortunately poor ol christine was a plymouth and any one who knows me knows how much i hate anything made by chrysler, but a few years ago i made an exception and bought a christine project car sight unseen from colorado usa. three months later it turned up and i set to work creating my very own christine, thats not christine you may say, in the movie it was a 2 door but in the original novel it was actually written about a 4 door 1958 v8 belvedere sedan which this is and i wanted to recreate the car i read about all those years ago, even down to the original california number plates and keyring which i found on ebay. unfortunately not haunted or posessed in any shape or form but fun anyway, so here she is my tribute to stephen king and christine. till next time.

perusing the new toy

g'day hearsefans, had the new recruit out the other day, the more i look at this one the more i like, but what's not to like about a hearse. outside of a few colour changes in her career and an updated front she is lovely, a fairly common practice with funeral directors as the cost of a new hearse is pretty scary to a small business, they do an update to their older hearse to make it look more modern so they change the front panels, wheels etc to make them look like the latest model. as the rest of the hearse is usually in good condition it's a cost effective alternative to a new one, she was black at one stage and i wish she still was but hearseboy likes the white, the jury is still out as far as naming goes but ladyhearse likes casper which i'm not that keen on as she doesn't seem to be that haunted, but being parked next to bluey that might change. till next time.

g'day hearsefans, had the ol munro out the other day for a run and took some shots, after 2 years of work it's nice to see it nearing completion. unlike hearses it's just an inanimate object with no soul [or souls] so to speak but it's one of the few [normal] cars i like these days but i've been playing with monaros for 25 years or so, i guess they have become a bit of a habit. so heres the progress shot as promised and i'll put up a finished shot when it's done. till next time.

lenny gets a run

g'day hearsefans, as i said before when these cars want your attention they will let you know, as the sun came up on saturday morning i found myself being pulled to big lenny's shed, as i've said before lenny really enjoys retirement and likes being left alone but for some reason she was calling me . i had other plans for the day but lenny had other ideas so off came the covers and in went the keys, now normally lenny is very cranky when awakened from her slumber but she fired straight up and sat there idling beautifully so a drive was in order, unfortunately the sky was starting to cloud over and rain was imminent so we were not going too far as i won't let a drop of rain get on my cars. as is always the case ladyhearse and hearseboy erupted from the house but lenny is a 2 seater so a coin toss was in order and ladyhearse won. intending to just go around the block instead we find ourselves at laidley cemetery, it's a nice place to visit but it was lenny's first visit there and she really enjoyed the outing as she ran absolutely perfect all the way which for her is unusual as she's usually pretty cranky. so a very pleasant morning was had by all except for hearseboy who missed out on a run, he's been getting into the latest addition and gave her an oil and filter change today so when this weather clears up we'll get her out for some more shots. till next time.

are you a funeral director?

g'day hearsefans, yeah i know it's not a hearse but i'm bringing it back from the dead, this was taken a couple of years ago and i'll put up a progress shot soon. anyway i got an email the other day from another hearse enthusiast saying that he gets asked all the time if he is a funeral director because he drives a hearse and do i get the same, it's good to hear i'm not alone, well yeah, most times i go out in fact, and a fair question i suppose but alas not, anyway i'd be a pretty bodgey looking one anyway black shorts, tshirt, workboots, thats just what i wear for the last 25 years or so but i just like the cars. people ask me how can you bear to go near those things if thats not your job. to them they see a saddening, sinister, scary vision not the object of beauty or automotive art i see. not that i have a problem with funeral directors quite the opposite in fact, i reckon they do a fantastic job and really do deserve a medal for their dedicated service, even hearseboy wants to be one which i think is great as i see it as a very noble profession. i actually forget i'm driving a hearse sometimes and are very comfortable around them, there are horses for courses they say and i guess they are not for most people but someone has to preserve these magnificent machines. speaking of preservation hearseboy has been madly polishing our newest member and getting some more bodywork done on his ltd as i've been a bit tied up with the monaro, i've got a sudden burst of enthusiasm at the moment so i'm getting in a few days on that till i get back to hearse central. till next time.

new recruit

g'day hearsefans, well bluey won out on old mates haunted hearse, but fate struck soon after, i was on ebay looking for parts for spook when hearseboy looked over my shoulder and spotted an innocent looking white statesman as i was scrolling down the page. i passed it off as just a normal garden variety stato and kept going but he said go back, i think its a hearse so i went back and sure enough upon further investigation there she was a white hq statesman hearse with a wb front upgrade, just out of service and with signage still in place and in a wrecking yard. whhaaaat a bloody wreckers, emergency stations everyone, all hands on deck, first thing next morning a rescue posse was on its way to the offending wreckers and there she was, luckily untouched and waiting. we bolted to the office and within a minute she was ours, a successful mission and another one saved. more fate, just happened to be a tow truck leaving the yard and was headed our way, so within a few hours we arrived back home with number 6. bluey seemed to take this sudden invasion pretty well considering so i have them parked together till they get used to each other. a lot later that night we went out to spend some time in her to get a feel for her and enjoy the ambience and she is very warm and inviting so seems to be happy to be here. just goes to show how fate works, i was looking in a category that i dont often look under, hearseboy just happened to walk past at that moment, she was still there, tow truck leaving at that time. like i said there are some things your meant to have and some your not. till next time.

the classifieds

g'day hearsefans, during my nightly trawl through all the usuals i spotted a hearse for sale, not the usual reasons for selling but they not long bought it and now its haunting the crap out of them. i appreciate their honesty but not the best way to find a taker, we however would jump at the chance to own it but [a] its too far away and would cost more than the asking price to get her up here, hearseboy is whittling away at me though, and [b] bluey says no, i can see her with one of those car stickers you see around with the outline of australia that says piss off were full, instead her version would be an outline of our house saying the same. after reading his story i got to the root of his problem, he wasn't looking after it and had just driven it home and left it in his driveway uncovered out in the weather and was planning on doing all the usual butchery a lot of idiots do to hearses. they will haunt you in a good way if you look after them and in a bad way if you don't. we'll see if hearseboy will wear me and bluey down, i would be easily won over but bluey is another story. lucky she likes hearseboy. till next time.

bluey gets snakey

g'day hearsefans, blueys been getting a bit snakey that spook has been getting too much attention lately, so as compensation we took her to mt gravatt cemetary for a run. i have family buried there and it's also very pleasant spot too, very nice chapel, nice grounds, so i dont mind making the trip, now i know when she is getting cranky, hard to start, wont idle, keeps stalling etc, all the tuning in the world wont work but a trip to a cemetary works wonders, she goes in cranky and comes out purring like a kitten. retirement doesnt really suit her very well unlike lenny who is more than happy to rest under her covers and enjoy the pampering and wouldn't care if she never saw another funeral ever again or if nobody ever saw her again either. not old bluey, she can't wait to hit the road and get back in to her natural habitat, a true old warhorse and ever the professional. till next time.

ladyhearse

g'day hearsefans, during my nightly trawl through all my favourite hearse sites ladyhearse spotted the hearse girls on hearseclub.com and has now been nagging me for her own set. the moment she hears the shed open she is in hot pursuit with the camera, so to keep her happy i took a few shots with spook, spook didn't seem to mind having a live person in the back for a change but after having done over 8000 funerals while in service i guess she was happy to do something different anyway. if your into hearses you may find hearseclub.com a look, it's done by a bloke called zachary byron helm who has a good sense of humour and also does short films under the name of sorp films. hearse driver [ my ringtone] and emo assault squadron are some of my favourites. till next time.

lenny and orb

and with lenny when we got home from picking her up from the funeral director. look to the right of the premier badge on the rear guard, no it's not a petrol cap.

paranormal activity

g'day hearsefans, interesting movie, well i guess you may be hanging out for some more on spirits that come with hearse collecting. it is nice to think that they enjoyed their last ride so much that they dont want to leave instead of being lost and can't find their way to the other side. i've had a chat to them on how to cross over but i dont really mind if they stay as i would probably miss them, most photos i've taken of my hearses have one or more in there somewhere sometimes in physical form and sometimes in orb form. for instance i was cruising along one day enjoying the ambience and looked up into the mirror to see a lady looking over the seat at me, another time i was talking to a young family beside bluey when her side window fogged up and she started writing in the mist, at which point they grabbed their 2 kids and and took off like their feet were on fire and their arses were catching. bluey has that effect on people, quite a few people will come up to spook and lenny but very very few will come near bluey. so she doesn't get a complex i keep her beside me as much as possible our bed is even next to her, check out the[ do you see what i see photo ] and see how many you can see, heres a clue, look beside the rear mudflap, heres some orb photos, one from the local cemetary the other night, have a look to the right of hearselady in spook to see a couple and one drops in with lenny. till next time.

hearseboy at work

g'day hearsefans, time to introduce the next in the collection, this one belongs to my son who is currently getting her up to scratch. she is a 84 ford ltd, again she started life as a basic station wagon and then transformed by spanmor limousines into what you see here. no history is known on this one but we believe she spent her working life in the bundaberg area and was part of a matching fleet, and judging by the rust i would say was about right. we pulled the vinyl roof off to fix what we were told was minor rust only to find there was hardly any roof left, a combination of being washed daily [ probably with a hose and detergent, a big no no on any car] and salt air. after welding up the roof hearseboy is now getting into the lower parts of the body, another one saved from an almost certain demise. till next time.

spook finds her voice

g'day hearsefans, hearses have a funny way of communicating with you and getting you to do what they want, [bluey especially] i've had this nagging feeling spook hasn't been completely happy lately and has been wanting to be heard more. 34 years of silence has taken it's toll on her and now in retirement she wants to live a bit. so today i shouted her a new twin exhaust system so now her 308 v8 engine can be heard in all it's glory. morton's brake and mechanical in laidley qld made and fitted it and now she sounds great. i had only got her home for about 10 mins before she wanted to go out again. a couple of hours later and 30 bucks of fuel [ she's a heavy drinker] i was finally able to coax her back in to her shed. she's now got a new lease on life and has a contented feel about her, well she's calling me again so i'll just head out to the shed and let her sing again. till next time.

lenny, the lady with a mans name

g'day hearsefans, it's a bit like that johnny cash song[ a boy named sue ] but the name just stuck. i was saving the best for last but this one is so stunning i've decided to put her on early. i've been in awe of her since i first saw her on her duties in the late 80's around ipswich qld after i was transferred there with work and vowed one day i would own her. every time i saw her outside a church i would slow down to admire her, anyway fast track to 2010 and dream became a reality when i heard a rumour she had been taken out of service. so i made some enquiries to the very well respected funeral home of len russell and sure enough she had been retired and they might consider selling, an agonising 6 month wait followed till they finally decided to sell [ but i think they sold her to me just so i would stop harrassing them and they could get some peace lol ]. it was an exhillerating drive home and i had to pinch myself to make sure i wasn't dreaming but i was finally at the wheel , better than being in the back on the last ride for sure but the first of many. she is being kept exactly the same as she came out of service right down to the name plaques on the front doors which they very kindly let me keep. after all this talking about her has made me want to go to the shed and admire her again [ i'm going to have bluey on my case again ]. till next time.

g'day hearsefans, time to introduce another one, this one we call the old hearse even though she's one of the newer ones in the collection. i rescued her from a dropkick who was trying to turn her into a camper and had removed and turfed most of the interior and had left her in the weather. spirits hate anyone destroying their habitat so i'm sure old mate now leads a fairly miserable existence. now safe a resto will eventually take place when i finish my monaro and give bluey a new paint job [ she's been nagging me ]. built by spanmor limousines in melbourne in 1983 she started life as a white falcon wagon as did bluey but was transformed into a zk fairlane, no history is known on this one but is pretty distinctive in her striking 2 tone paint work so some one will remember her eventually. till next time.

bluey in her natural habitat

the good old local

g'day hearsefans, i guess it goes with the turf but when you get into hearses you also seem to get into cemetaries as well. initially for photo backdrops then you find that for the most part they are actually quite pleasant and interesting places to visit. toowong cemetary in brisbane for example is reported to be the most haunted cemetary around so on your first visit there you have this pre concieved idea that it is going to be a very creepy and unwelcoming place to visit, well i found it to be quite the opposite and obviously so do a lot of other people as every time i go there it is quite busy. occasionally though you do get a cemetary where you really dont feel welcome and are intruding, warrill view near ipswich qld is one of those, you cant wait to get out of there and others must feel the same as every time i go there its empty [ of the living ]. so if you want to spend a pleasant and interesting few hours head to a cemetary near you and check it out, as long as you respect the dead and their final resting place the spirits wont hassle you as they find us as interesting as we find them, start standing on graves, vandalising headstones, or taking souvenirs, well watch out. till next time.

spook [1976 hx holden hearse]

g'day hearsefans, how's that for the ultimate statesman. i always wanted a factory black one and to get a hearse as well, it don't get any better as far as statos go. but wait it does get better not only am i lucky enough to own this gem but also a factory black hg premier hearse as well. by now you've probably guessed black is my favourite colour, a bit like henry ford, any colour as long as it's black. i will put up a photo of lenny [ the hg ] soon but to keep you in suspense a bit longer here is another photo of spook.

spook [1976 hx holden hearse]

g'day hearsefans, well enough about bluey for now, she will crack a sad and get jealous but i will make it up to her later, but now it's time to introduce another member of the collection. i spotted this on carsales while doing my nightly hearse search and her name is spook although she isn't very haunted, now holden hearses are rare at the best of times but are usually station wagon based when you do see one, but this one is actually made from a sedan. well i just had to have it, converted by w.d hadley in 1976-1977 the job took around 6 months to complete and a work of art at that, i just love all that stainless steel and the glass divider looks fantastic. she then went in to service with pengelley + knabe funeral directors of glenside adelaide sa, having done over 8000 funerals she was retired in 2000 and came to qld via hearse dealer kevin mc minn. she then spent 9 years with an owner who only drove her occasionally and mostly was parked up. when it came time to hand her over he was having second thoughts big time and nearly gave me my money back but i assured him a loving home awaited [for the hearse not him] lol. anyway a full mechanical rebuild ensued and was ready for rego 6 months later with ded 02 number plates as a finishing touch. why ded 02 you ask well ded was taken, as was ded 01, but ded 02 makes the most sense as if you end up boxed up in here you're ded too. yeah i know, bad humour, but i like it anyway. till next time.

hearses hearses hearses

g'day hearsefans, welcome to hearseman, i'm an absolute car fanatic and collector of the unusual. amongst my collection of classics reside 5 hearses [ always looking for more ] no collection is ever complete, 4 mine and my wifes and 1 my sons. it all started with 1, a dark blue 1986 ford ltd hearse i spotted on ebay. now as an ex mechanic i had come to absolutely hate fords as they are generally crap [ so are mitsubishis ] and had vowed to never own one, but that all changed when i spotted her for sale in sydney. it was love at 1'st sight and the ford badge was dismissed in an instant, the tilt tray driver couldn't get it off the truck fast enough when she was delivered a few days later as she was creeping him out big time, i was soon to discover why he was terrified of her as well as all the previous owners as no one had kept her long since coming out of service. about a week later while admiring some photos i had taken after she came off the truck i discovered i had some new friends [who seem to be quite photogenic]. well what do you do?, crap yourself?, run screaming?, sell it?. no way, go outside at 1 in the morning take a seat in there and say hello. well interesting times my friends interesting times,