are you a funeral director?

g'day hearsefans, yeah i know it's not a hearse but i'm bringing it back from the dead, this was taken a couple of years ago and i'll put up a progress shot soon. anyway i got an email the other day from another hearse enthusiast saying that he gets asked all the time if he is a funeral director because he drives a hearse and do i get the same, it's good to hear i'm not alone, well yeah, most times i go out in fact, and a fair question i suppose but alas not, anyway i'd be a pretty bodgey looking one anyway black shorts, tshirt, workboots, thats just what i wear for the last 25 years or so but i just like the cars. people ask me how can you bear to go near those things if thats not your job. to them they see a saddening, sinister, scary vision not the object of beauty or automotive art i see. not that i have a problem with funeral directors quite the opposite in fact, i reckon they do a fantastic job and really do deserve a medal for their dedicated service, even hearseboy wants to be one which i think is great as i see it as a very noble profession. i actually forget i'm driving a hearse sometimes and are very comfortable around them, there are horses for courses they say and i guess they are not for most people but someone has to preserve these magnificent machines. speaking of preservation hearseboy has been madly polishing our newest member and getting some more bodywork done on his ltd as i've been a bit tied up with the monaro, i've got a sudden burst of enthusiasm at the moment so i'm getting in a few days on that till i get back to hearse central. till next time.

new recruit

g'day hearsefans, well bluey won out on old mates haunted hearse, but fate struck soon after, i was on ebay looking for parts for spook when hearseboy looked over my shoulder and spotted an innocent looking white statesman as i was scrolling down the page. i passed it off as just a normal garden variety stato and kept going but he said go back, i think its a hearse so i went back and sure enough upon further investigation there she was a white hq statesman hearse with a wb front upgrade, just out of service and with signage still in place and in a wrecking yard. whhaaaat a bloody wreckers, emergency stations everyone, all hands on deck, first thing next morning a rescue posse was on its way to the offending wreckers and there she was, luckily untouched and waiting. we bolted to the office and within a minute she was ours, a successful mission and another one saved. more fate, just happened to be a tow truck leaving the yard and was headed our way, so within a few hours we arrived back home with number 6. bluey seemed to take this sudden invasion pretty well considering so i have them parked together till they get used to each other. a lot later that night we went out to spend some time in her to get a feel for her and enjoy the ambience and she is very warm and inviting so seems to be happy to be here. just goes to show how fate works, i was looking in a category that i dont often look under, hearseboy just happened to walk past at that moment, she was still there, tow truck leaving at that time. like i said there are some things your meant to have and some your not. till next time.

the classifieds

g'day hearsefans, during my nightly trawl through all the usuals i spotted a hearse for sale, not the usual reasons for selling but they not long bought it and now its haunting the crap out of them. i appreciate their honesty but not the best way to find a taker, we however would jump at the chance to own it but [a] its too far away and would cost more than the asking price to get her up here, hearseboy is whittling away at me though, and [b] bluey says no, i can see her with one of those car stickers you see around with the outline of australia that says piss off were full, instead her version would be an outline of our house saying the same. after reading his story i got to the root of his problem, he wasn't looking after it and had just driven it home and left it in his driveway uncovered out in the weather and was planning on doing all the usual butchery a lot of idiots do to hearses. they will haunt you in a good way if you look after them and in a bad way if you don't. we'll see if hearseboy will wear me and bluey down, i would be easily won over but bluey is another story. lucky she likes hearseboy. till next time.

bluey gets snakey

g'day hearsefans, blueys been getting a bit snakey that spook has been getting too much attention lately, so as compensation we took her to mt gravatt cemetary for a run. i have family buried there and it's also very pleasant spot too, very nice chapel, nice grounds, so i dont mind making the trip, now i know when she is getting cranky, hard to start, wont idle, keeps stalling etc, all the tuning in the world wont work but a trip to a cemetary works wonders, she goes in cranky and comes out purring like a kitten. retirement doesnt really suit her very well unlike lenny who is more than happy to rest under her covers and enjoy the pampering and wouldn't care if she never saw another funeral ever again or if nobody ever saw her again either. not old bluey, she can't wait to hit the road and get back in to her natural habitat, a true old warhorse and ever the professional. till next time.

ladyhearse

g'day hearsefans, during my nightly trawl through all my favourite hearse sites ladyhearse spotted the hearse girls on hearseclub.com and has now been nagging me for her own set. the moment she hears the shed open she is in hot pursuit with the camera, so to keep her happy i took a few shots with spook, spook didn't seem to mind having a live person in the back for a change but after having done over 8000 funerals while in service i guess she was happy to do something different anyway. if your into hearses you may find hearseclub.com a look, it's done by a bloke called zachary byron helm who has a good sense of humour and also does short films under the name of sorp films. hearse driver [ my ringtone] and emo assault squadron are some of my favourites. till next time.

lenny and orb

and with lenny when we got home from picking her up from the funeral director. look to the right of the premier badge on the rear guard, no it's not a petrol cap.

paranormal activity

g'day hearsefans, interesting movie, well i guess you may be hanging out for some more on spirits that come with hearse collecting. it is nice to think that they enjoyed their last ride so much that they dont want to leave instead of being lost and can't find their way to the other side. i've had a chat to them on how to cross over but i dont really mind if they stay as i would probably miss them, most photos i've taken of my hearses have one or more in there somewhere sometimes in physical form and sometimes in orb form. for instance i was cruising along one day enjoying the ambience and looked up into the mirror to see a lady looking over the seat at me, another time i was talking to a young family beside bluey when her side window fogged up and she started writing in the mist, at which point they grabbed their 2 kids and and took off like their feet were on fire and their arses were catching. bluey has that effect on people, quite a few people will come up to spook and lenny but very very few will come near bluey. so she doesn't get a complex i keep her beside me as much as possible our bed is even next to her, check out the[ do you see what i see photo ] and see how many you can see, heres a clue, look beside the rear mudflap, heres some orb photos, one from the local cemetary the other night, have a look to the right of hearselady in spook to see a couple and one drops in with lenny. till next time.

hearseboy at work

g'day hearsefans, time to introduce the next in the collection, this one belongs to my son who is currently getting her up to scratch. she is a 84 ford ltd, again she started life as a basic station wagon and then transformed by spanmor limousines into what you see here. no history is known on this one but we believe she spent her working life in the bundaberg area and was part of a matching fleet, and judging by the rust i would say was about right. we pulled the vinyl roof off to fix what we were told was minor rust only to find there was hardly any roof left, a combination of being washed daily [ probably with a hose and detergent, a big no no on any car] and salt air. after welding up the roof hearseboy is now getting into the lower parts of the body, another one saved from an almost certain demise. till next time.

spook finds her voice

g'day hearsefans, hearses have a funny way of communicating with you and getting you to do what they want, [bluey especially] i've had this nagging feeling spook hasn't been completely happy lately and has been wanting to be heard more. 34 years of silence has taken it's toll on her and now in retirement she wants to live a bit. so today i shouted her a new twin exhaust system so now her 308 v8 engine can be heard in all it's glory. morton's brake and mechanical in laidley qld made and fitted it and now she sounds great. i had only got her home for about 10 mins before she wanted to go out again. a couple of hours later and 30 bucks of fuel [ she's a heavy drinker] i was finally able to coax her back in to her shed. she's now got a new lease on life and has a contented feel about her, well she's calling me again so i'll just head out to the shed and let her sing again. till next time.

lenny, the lady with a mans name

g'day hearsefans, it's a bit like that johnny cash song[ a boy named sue ] but the name just stuck. i was saving the best for last but this one is so stunning i've decided to put her on early. i've been in awe of her since i first saw her on her duties in the late 80's around ipswich qld after i was transferred there with work and vowed one day i would own her. every time i saw her outside a church i would slow down to admire her, anyway fast track to 2010 and dream became a reality when i heard a rumour she had been taken out of service. so i made some enquiries to the very well respected funeral home of len russell and sure enough she had been retired and they might consider selling, an agonising 6 month wait followed till they finally decided to sell [ but i think they sold her to me just so i would stop harrassing them and they could get some peace lol ]. it was an exhillerating drive home and i had to pinch myself to make sure i wasn't dreaming but i was finally at the wheel , better than being in the back on the last ride for sure but the first of many. she is being kept exactly the same as she came out of service right down to the name plaques on the front doors which they very kindly let me keep. after all this talking about her has made me want to go to the shed and admire her again [ i'm going to have bluey on my case again ]. till next time.